Wedding season is upon me and by wedding season, I don’t mean August-December, I mean that pressure-cooker epoch in your life, Age 26-33, give or take.
I remember when I was a college student, I’d have these sad conversations with my older single friends. They’d tell me about how all their friends were getting married, how they couldn’t hang out with them anymore, how their parents were hounding them about when they were going to get married. Blah blah blah blah blah.
It was hard in those days to empathize with them. Not because I didn’t care, I just couldn’t relate. Those were chili dog days: I woke up at 11, had Panda Express for breakfast, and interacted with the world in my sweatpants. What could I possibly have understood back then?
In a way though, I never really grew out of that mindset. Yes, I may wear age-appropriate clothing now, but marriage seems just as far away to me today as it seemed back then, almost like running toward a horizon that doesn’t seem to be coming any closer.
Now that I’m finally at that “marrying age” though, I do have to admit that it’s all a bit overwhelming. Friends who settle into their life-defining relationships go through rapid transformations in maturity. In other words, they graduate to West Elm, from Craigslist to Crate and Barrel. And let me tell you, this quantum leap from rugs to investment pieces is a jarring one, especially for the friends still perusing IKEA catalogues, still tickled by the Jansjö floor lamp.
There’s a bit of a feeling of being left behind, isn’t there? That in comparison to their well decorated and furnished two-story condos, the three-bedroom apartment you share with five of your college buddies just doesn’t seem to cut it anymore.
The scariest part of it all is that every month and year that goes by during this season of wedding bells and bridal parties, a small piece of that notion of falling in love with “The One” (aka your “Soulmate”) erodes into jaded oblivion. Every year that goes by, you get closer and closer to doing what you always advised your friends not to do: Settle.
So now I understand. I do wish there was some glimmering insight I can offer, some call for solidarity among the singles who in some of their circles, are quietly enduring the countdown of friends, cousins, and siblings who tie the knot before they do. But I can’t and I won’t. The only true thing I can say is that it is actually as hard as they said it would be.
I guess the best I can do instead is to send out an SOS of my own, directed to all the unmarried sojourners out there. Just to say, HEY YOU, SINGLE PERSON. You’re not alone…not yet anyways. I’m available to watch a movie most nights. I can still do the 2 AM food binge. I don’t have to be home by a certain hour and I can still play wingman, if you’ll play one for me.
I’m free most weekends. The only exceptions are on the 17th and 24th of this month, 8th, 29th and 30th of October and 11th of November. For weddings.
Otherwise, call me.
I’m totally free.