Fool Me Once…

“Homeless” lady (crying): Mister, can you please help me?

Me: I think I know what you need.

“Homeless” lady: Huh?

Me: You live in Yonkers and you had to come here because your cousin was sick and now you’re stuck without the fare to go home, right? How much was it? $10?

“Homeless” lady: Yessir.

Me: Do you know how I know that?

“Homeless” lady: How?

Me: Because you had the same story last week when I gave you $10. How often do you get stuck out here in the city?

“Homeless” lady: I swear I need the fare. All I wanna do is go home.

Me: It’s a pretty good story. Maybe next time you should spin it on a different corner.

“Homeless” lady: (pause)…so can I get $10 for the fare?

Me: No.


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