How to Beat the System

Automated system: Hello, Welcome to Bank of America. Please speak your responses so that I can direct you to the correct department. To check your balance say, “Accounts“. To report a lost or stolen check card say, “Security“. To open a new account, say “New Accounts“. For more options say, “More options“.

Me: My mother used to take me to ballet class when I was young.

Automated message: Sorry, didn’t catch that. To check your balance say, “Accounts“. To report…

Me: My favorite drink is a Jack and coke, but I’m thinking about switching to Maker’s Mark. How would I order that at a bar?

Automated message: Sorry, didn’t catch…

Me: GOD I MISS HBO. There’s just nothing good on TV…

Automated message: I’ll connect you to a customer service representative.

Me: Thank you.


1 Comment

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One response to “How to Beat the System

  1. Jessica Lee

    Haha Didn’t know you used to learn ballet.. but did you know that if you say the f-word you’ll be immediately connected to a rep? Go figure

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