My Valentine

I hate Valentine’s day.

Legend has it that Valentine’s day was originally named after St. Valentine, a Christian priest who was martyred in AD 269.

According to my pocket Latin dictionary, however, the word Valentine is actually a loose translation of “Succa singlitis tobea” or in English…”Sucks to be Single“. So literally, every February 14th, the world celebrates Sucks to be Single Day.

Needless to say, I don’t get caught up in the festivities surrounding this day. I always feel bad for the poor guy who, because of this arbitrary “day of love”, is obligated to shell out 2 bills on a 5-course meal at a 5-star restaurant. As a point of contrast, my last five Valentine’s dinners consisted of the following:

2010: Chicken and rice

2009: String bean casserole

2008: Rice and Kimchi

2007: Ramen

2006: Bag of Doritos

I wouldn’t say that these are happy meals, but at least I have the satisfaction of knowing that I’m not just another victim of the Hallmark machinery.

Despite this Grinch-like disdain for Valentine’s Day, I boast an unusual and pretty remarkable streak. Since the 4th grade, I’ve always had a valentine.

In 4th grade, I spent 1 hour making a heart shaped card for Mrs. Anderson, my teacher. She accepted.

In high school, I’d bribe little girls with candy. Every year, at least one girl would agree to make me a card, keeping the streak alive.

College was EASY. A girl named Katie (cutest 6 year old at my church) had a most flattering crush on me. I didn’t even have to bribe her.  She’d make me a card every year.

No card this year though. She’s in her double-digits now, I’ve suddenly developed a case of the cooties, and to make matters even worse, I’ve moved across the country.

Though I hate Valentine’s and everything it stands for, I’ll admit, I was a bit sad to see my streak coming to an end. That is until about an hour ago.

As I was cooking my chicken and rice, I get a call:

Mom: Happy Valentine’s DAY!!!!

Me: Thanks Mom!

Mom: Do you have anyone special you are spending day with?

Me: No

Mom: haha! That is sad.

Me: Yes

Mom: So still no one special?

Me: Not since the last time you asked me, two seconds ago.

Mom: haha! That’s too bad. You are lonely boy! haha!  Always no one.

Me: Yes Mom. I hadn’t thought of it that way but thank you.

Mom: What are you doing?

Me: Right now, I’m cooking chicken.

Mom: Again? You always eat chicken. Are you eating with someone?

Me: No.

Mom: haha! Everyone is eating together and you are eating alone! haha!

Me: mm-hmm. Is there something you need Mom? My chicken is burning.

Mom: No, just call to say Happy Valentine Day. I know you alone, so I call to say I can be your valentine.

Me: <Sigh> Ok Mom.  Happy Valentine’s Day.

Mom: haha! Goodbye son. <click>

The streak lives to see another day.

Hooray for me.


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6 Comments

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6 responses to “My Valentine

  1. dluv

    We had dumplings and you became crab crotch.

  2. dluv

    According to the definition, we celebrated it correctly with a table of strangers.

  3. ruth

    its ok chris~ valentine’s day has to suck so much when you’re single so that when someday you are not (which will happen, someday) it will be it that much more better, and it will be easy to shell out the dough for that 5 course meal, because you won’t be in the misery of celebrating the ‘sucks to be single’ day~ plus you’ll be with someone who will make you smile just by giving you simple glance of a look (the look that says, I’d only want to be with you today)~ =) happy belated valentine’s cuz~

  4. anne

    your mom is amazing. 🙂

  5. Elisabeth

    Mom’s are the best Valentines. 🙂

  6. Pingback: Making Peace With Valentine’s « Figs and Fodder

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