I hate Valentine’s day.
Legend has it that Valentine’s day was originally named after St. Valentine, a Christian priest who was martyred in AD 269.
According to my pocket Latin dictionary, however, the word Valentine is actually a loose translation of “Succa singlitis tobea” or in English…”Sucks to be Single“. So literally, every February 14th, the world celebrates Sucks to be Single Day.
Needless to say, I don’t get caught up in the festivities surrounding this day. I always feel bad for the poor guy who, because of this arbitrary “day of love”, is obligated to shell out 2 bills on a 5-course meal at a 5-star restaurant. As a point of contrast, my last five Valentine’s dinners consisted of the following:
2010: Chicken and rice
2009: String bean casserole
2008: Rice and Kimchi
2006: Bag of Doritos
I wouldn’t say that these are happy meals, but at least I have the satisfaction of knowing that I’m not just another victim of the Hallmark machinery.
Despite this Grinch-like disdain for Valentine’s Day, I boast an unusual and pretty remarkable streak. Since the 4th grade, I’ve always had a valentine.
In 4th grade, I spent 1 hour making a heart shaped card for Mrs. Anderson, my teacher. She accepted.
In high school, I’d bribe little girls with candy. Every year, at least one girl would agree to make me a card, keeping the streak alive.
College was EASY. A girl named Katie (cutest 6 year old at my church) had a most flattering crush on me. I didn’t even have to bribe her. She’d make me a card every year.
No card this year though. She’s in her double-digits now, I’ve suddenly developed a case of the cooties, and to make matters even worse, I’ve moved across the country.
Though I hate Valentine’s and everything it stands for, I’ll admit, I was a bit sad to see my streak coming to an end. That is until about an hour ago.
As I was cooking my chicken and rice, I get a call:
Mom: Happy Valentine’s DAY!!!!
Me: Thanks Mom!
Mom: Do you have anyone special you are spending day with?
Mom: haha! That is sad.
Mom: So still no one special?
Me: Not since the last time you asked me, two seconds ago.
Mom: haha! That’s too bad. You are lonely boy! haha! Always no one.
Me: Yes Mom. I hadn’t thought of it that way but thank you.
Mom: What are you doing?
Me: Right now, I’m cooking chicken.
Mom: Again? You always eat chicken. Are you eating with someone?
Mom: haha! Everyone is eating together and you are eating alone! haha!
Me: mm-hmm. Is there something you need Mom? My chicken is burning.
Mom: No, just call to say Happy Valentine Day. I know you alone, so I call to say I can be your valentine.
Me: <Sigh> Ok Mom. Happy Valentine’s Day.
Mom: haha! Goodbye son. <click>
The streak lives to see another day.
Hooray for me.