Owned by Appletree

There’s a small convenience store next to my dorm called Appletree.  This place charges just a little bit more, has a little bit less.

3 months ago, I bought a sandwich for $6.25.  They gave me a “VIP Deli Card” and punched a hole.  Buy TEN heroes and the 11th Hero…IS ON US!

Wow.  I’ve never been a VIP for anything.  And to a poor, hungry graduate student, a free hero is truly a prize worth fighting for.

Fight I did.  Every time I bought a sandwich, I went to the counter and flipped out that VIP card like it was an AMEX black card. And every time they punched it, I would think.  “Just a little bit closer, baby.”

“Almost there.”

“I’m so close, I can taste it…”

“MMMMM FREE HERO! I’m on my way!”

A few days ago. I did it.  10 Heroes from Appletree. She stamped it and I swore, she gave me a grin, like…”Man, congratulations.  This is…this is truly an incredibly achievement, and I am so honored to punch this tenth and final hole for you.”

“Thanks Appletree lady.  It took a lot of hard work, but it’ll all be worth it when that FREE sandwich goes into my mouth.”

That was a few days ago.

I realize that this whole free sandwich thing is just too much pressure for me to handle.  I’ve been working on this for more than 3 months.

The conditions have to be perfect.

  1. I have to be really hungry. FAMISHED! Weak at the knees type starvation.
  2. I have to go to my fridge and be shocked to discover that I don’t have anything to eat.
  3. I have to have NO cash in my wallet.
  4. At which point, I have to have a moment where I feel utter despair. No other options, what am I going to do?

That’s when…

5.  The moment of realization. Oh my goodness, I totally forgot! FREE sandwich!

Then I skip down to Appletree, buy the biggest, most robust Hero on the menu, find Appletree lady and say:

“The special day has finally arrived!”

She will shed a tear for my plight, understanding the pain and the struggle that it took to get here.

Anything short of that will be a complete and utter letdown.


Because I realized…just NOW…

That I spent $62.50 for one free sandwich worth $6.25.


1 Comment

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One response to “Owned by Appletree

  1. Pingback: Owned By Appletree (update) « Figs and Fodder

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