There’s a small convenience store next to my dorm called Appletree. This place charges just a little bit more, has a little bit less.
3 months ago, I bought a sandwich for $6.25. They gave me a “VIP Deli Card” and punched a hole. Buy TEN heroes and the 11th Hero…IS ON US!
Wow. I’ve never been a VIP for anything. And to a poor, hungry graduate student, a free hero is truly a prize worth fighting for.
Fight I did. Every time I bought a sandwich, I went to the counter and flipped out that VIP card like it was an AMEX black card. And every time they punched it, I would think. “Just a little bit closer, baby.”
“I’m so close, I can taste it…”
“MMMMM FREE HERO! I’m on my way!”
A few days ago. I did it. 10 Heroes from Appletree. She stamped it and I swore, she gave me a grin, like…”Man, congratulations. This is…this is truly an incredibly achievement, and I am so honored to punch this tenth and final hole for you.”
“Thanks Appletree lady. It took a lot of hard work, but it’ll all be worth it when that FREE sandwich goes into my mouth.”
That was a few days ago.
I realize that this whole free sandwich thing is just too much pressure for me to handle. I’ve been working on this for more than 3 months.
The conditions have to be perfect.
- I have to be really hungry. FAMISHED! Weak at the knees type starvation.
- I have to go to my fridge and be shocked to discover that I don’t have anything to eat.
- I have to have NO cash in my wallet.
- At which point, I have to have a moment where I feel utter despair. No other options, what am I going to do?
5. The moment of realization. Oh my goodness, I totally forgot! FREE sandwich!
Then I skip down to Appletree, buy the biggest, most robust Hero on the menu, find Appletree lady and say:
“The special day has finally arrived!”
She will shed a tear for my plight, understanding the pain and the struggle that it took to get here.
Anything short of that will be a complete and utter letdown.
Because I realized…just NOW…
That I spent $62.50 for one free sandwich worth $6.25.