Microfiber Economics

I’ve never been good with money and by transitive property, I’ve never been good with investments either.

I recognize that at some point in my life I’m going to sit my ass down in a café and read the Dummy’s guide to Economics and Investments from cover to cover.  I just don’t have the time to do it right at the moment.

So I do my best to pick up things here and there. The global economic recession is helpful in the sense that I’m inundated by previously unfamiliar terms like “finance reform”, “regulation” and “sub-prime mortgages” ad nauseum.

But truly, there’s nothing like first-hand experience to really drive in the nail of understanding.

I do laundry about once every two weeks.  That’s $3 every go around, so about $6 a month.  Like most grad students, I realize that I need to save at every corner, and if that means I have to wear a T-shirt twice or three times before I wash it, so be it.

But I will under no circumstances re-wear underwear.  That’s just the golden rule of laundry, if there is such a thing.  And I realize that I do laundry every two weeks because I have exactly 14 pairs of underwear (As I’m writing this, I’m thinking… “Holy shit, why do I have 14 pairs of underwear?”)

Anyways, it struck me the other day as I was doing laundry, that if I made a “Long-term investment” in some more underwear, I can conceivably make a “nice return on my investment”

Think this out with me.  If I buy just 7 more pairs of underwear (bringing it to a ridiculous 21 pairs) I will only have to do laundry every 3 weeks instead of  2.  That means per month, instead of $6, I will be spending $4, a savings of $2 per month.

If I can find 7 pairs of underwear for something like $10, then after only 5 months, my savings will have bought me 7 FREE pairs of underwear.  FREE!

If it’s going to be free, I figure, I’ll just buy the best underwear that money can buy and eventually, it will pay for itself.  Following this line of thinking led me to the following:

Seamless Microfiber Mesh Underwear, mesh sides and back, solid fabric pouch front with solid back stripe. Sexy but not all revealing! Men’s underwear. 3% Polyamide, 7% elastane. Mesh fabric is see through (but careful, as with all mesh microfiber the fabric mesh may tear if he pulls his finger through it)

Why’s this fool at the beach? Better yet, what’s this fool doing in microfiber mesh underwear? And what good is underwear if it tears when you touch it with your finger?

I realized suddenly that for all my cleverness, I forgot the most important truth in this convoluted world of economics.

Money’s not everything, especially if it comes at the price of your dignity.



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4 responses to “Microfiber Economics

  1. susan

    thanks for the mental image of you wearing nothing but yer underwear.
    i’m a married woman now, chrissy.
    stop trying to stumble me.

  2. Dafne

    if you need some money, i left some… maybe you can use it.. =p

  3. diane

    you made us look at some ass crack. now, i also know this dude waxes. thanks.

  4. CLoV3

    Why the HELL are you looking at this…… I know what to get you for Christmas now. HAHAHAHHAHAHAH.

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