The Golden Arches of Democracy

It’s the land of opportunity, people. And the beautiful thing is, everyone is different.

From childhood, I ate McNuggets in the following way:

  1. Dip once
  2. Take bite of only dipped area.
  3. Using teeth, peel skin of the remaining McNugget, exposing the pay dirt underneath (This used to be an ambiguous gray meat, but in 2004, a panicked corporation bent to the whims of a ludicrous health movement).
  4. Dip skinless white meat.
  5. Take bite of the skinless white meat, leaving only the handle.
  6. Eat the handle, NO dip.

The moral of this story is that everyone eats McNuggets in his/her own special way. It’s freedom and diversity played out on the micro scale and no one should be judged.

But in a land of pluralism, mutual respect, and tolerance for disparate cultures, there still exists fundamental and universal norms that tie societies together.

We all may eat McNuggets in different ways, but Sweet and Sour dipping sauce is an absolute must.

Anything else is just plain un-American.

For a more in depth analysis, dluv



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2 responses to “The Golden Arches of Democracy

  1. dluv

    Evolution of McNuggets: The order dluv eats ’em

    1. Circle – It starts out as an egg (all sides are equal)
    2. Oval – The egg elongates and grows into an oval (the pointy end gets dipped first)
    3. Rounded Rectangle – Evolves into a being (the part that is where the “beak” will grow into gets eaten first)
    4. Pointy Beak – And becomes a chicken with a beak! (the beak must be dipped into the S&S sauce first)

    Apparently there are three official shapes: “The Boot,” “The Circle,” and ‘The Tombstone.”

    The best part is when the skin is already separated from the chicken and is extra crispy. It is an abomination that they made it into white meat. Giblets and all made it succulent.

    Lastly, Sweet & Sour sauce is the superior condiment.

    Oh, this is long enough for a post. I will do that too. Haha.

  2. Elisabeth

    I just dip a little and pop ’em in my mouth. Is it un-american to not have an elaborate plan?

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