If you’ve ever worked with computers, you know what those words mean. An error message, program failure, “This operation cannot be completed”. It happens to all of us and its part of our cyber lives now. I call it my daily aggravation.
But can anyone explain why this actually happens?
The more I think about it, the more I think it’s strange how computers just decide once in a while to act “tired.”
“Oh, I’ve been running for about a day straight, I think I’m going to crash.”
And what do we do when one of these errors occur? When our computers freeze? We turn it off for a few minutes and turn it back on right? And then it works again.
Seriously, really think about that. I know computers aren’t supposed to be perfect, but do they really need a break? They’re machines right? Shouldn’t they work exactly the same until the power runs out?
I’m not a computer guy, but let me offer an anthropological theory.
God made us in his own image, and in our best God impersonation, we created computers.
If we think about it in this way, those random system malfunctions begin to make a lot more sense. Cuz, let’s face it…we as humans have system errors all the time.
You know what I’m talking about. You get up to get something and halfway there, you forget why you’re standing. You blank on the name of someone you’ve known for years. You’re fluent in a language but after years of not using it, it disappears. Where does that go I wonder?
I had one of those moments the other night. I could easily blame the fact that I’d been studying for 7 hours straight, but I’d like to think it was just one of those crash moments.
I was writing the following sentence. “Shulman advocates that the teacher know the subject manner in a deap and full way.”
The red squiggly line appeared under the word deap.
Deap. Deap and full. DEAP. At every angle, it looked fine.
I deleted the word and retyped it. D-E-A-P. DEAP goddamit!!
The line returned. Stupid computer. Must be another one of those computer glitches. I’m just going to scroll down and when I’m back on the word, the line will be gone.
WTMONKEY is going on?? Did Mr. Gates forget how to spell Deap?? Did I stumble upon a massive glitch in the system? Does Microsoft even know about their “deap” problem? Now was the perfect time for one of those inexplicable “Send Error Report” prompts to pop up…This time I wouldn’t just click on ‘Don’t Send’. I’d write. “Hey morons, you forgot to include deap in your dictionary!!”
THEY HAVE TO KNOW!!
Obviously, I couldn’t finish my paper with that stupid red line haunting my thoughts. I spent the next 15 minutes figuring out how to turn off the automatic spell check on my document. I figured it out and I happily “deap”ed away for the rest of the paper.
If you think this story has a happy ending…it doesn’t. I turned in my paper with one deap problem after another.
System Error indeed.